


Loneliness is Worse

by kittenspawn



Category: Fables - Willingham, The Wolf Among Us
Genre: Extended Scene, F/M, Fix-It, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 17:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1786525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenspawn/pseuds/kittenspawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bigby makes one last effort to convince Snow that she and the cubs can be happy with him if she'll only give him the chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loneliness is Worse

She’d hardly slept in the frantic weeks since the kids...cubs...were born, so it wasn’t surprising when Snow passed out with her neck in a very uncomfortable position the moment they’d reached the outskirts of the city. Flycatcher knew the way to the Farm without instruction, so he allowed Snow what sleep she could catch without protest.

It wasn’t a restful sleep, but then Snow never really had nice dreams anymore. The unconscious thoughts in her mind were no different tonight, her brain replaying the conversation she’d had with Bigby the day before, each time the scene playing out the same yet different. Unique questions, but always the same answers. And always the same result.

He _left_.

Or, more accurately, she pushed him away.

_Just like always._

The sun was setting to the west, just as it did every evening, as Fly noticed the familiar landmarks denoting they were almost to the Farm’s land. He yawned, stretching in the driver’s seat a moment before...

“Oh!” He slammed on the brakes hard enough that Snow was jolted awake suddenly. “What the…” She grumbled, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.

_Shit_.

The first baby started to fuss from the sudden halt of the minivan. Snow almost didn’t hear the whiny precursor to crying; she was too distracted staring out the window.

“Miss White?” Flycatcher asked nervously, “What should I…?”

“Stubborn son-of-a-bitch.” Snow nearly growled as she un-clicked her seatbelt. “Just wait here, I’ll be right back.” She reached in back, pulling up a large bag with bottles and pacifiers. “Feed them, burp them, and they’ll be fine. I’ll only be a minute.” She promised as she got out of the van.

The man standing in the road looked like he hadn’t slept either, and from the smell of things the usual several pack a day habit had gone well over a dozen. In fact, Snow was surprised he wasn’t smoking two cigarettes at a time when she got close enough to get a good look at him.

“What are you doing?” She demanded, her face wrinkled into a stern scowl. Bigby took almost a full minute to answer, and when he did it wasn’t an actual answer at all. “They’re crying.” He breathed, as if the revelation was the most awful thing he’d ever witnessed in his life.

“Babies cry, Bigby. It’s their _thing_.” Snow countered as she glanced back at the van to see Fly scurrying around. Eventually the crying settled as each of the children had a bottle. Breast milk, of course. Those Mundy breast pumps were an amazing invention. “See. They’re fine.” She turned her attention back to the father of her children, only to find he’d already started to move towards the van.

“Stop!” Snow ordered as she darted in front of him, no small feat considering who he was and the fact she’d given birth recently.

“What?” He only stopped moving to look down at her, a dangerous angry glare she’d honestly never seen directed at her before. Yes, he’d been angry before, when he’d begged her to ‘come away’ with him, but now…

“Please, just stop, alright. Don’t make this harder than it already is.” Snow begged, pressing her hands against his chest. She swallowed the lump in her throat, looking up at him desperately. “Don’t do this to yourself, Bigby. Please.”

He scoffed, or snorted, or some displeased sound that was almost animal-like. “ _I’m_ not doing this.” He reminded her coldly, eyes narrowing as he looked away from the van finally to meet her eyes. “You are, _Princess_.” His tone was laced with anger, desperation and sadness, though the last was hard to detect if you didn’t know to listen for it.

_She didn’t_.

Snow’s eyes narrowed in return, her jaw tightening as she clenched her teeth. “You think this is easy for me?” She took her hands from his chest, folding her arms defiantly. “You think I enjoy having to leave the only home I’ve known in this land because…” She caught herself before she said something she didn’t mean. _The children were not to blame_. They were perfect. Miracles she’d never expected nor dared dream of wanting. But the fact remained their very existence put Snow’s loyalties to the ultimate test.

Family or _duty_?

Herself…or the laws she had demanded herself and all the other Fables obey for centuries.

“You’re not the only one hurting because of this,” she finished more gently than before. “but we don’t have a choice, Bigby.”

“You were married to the new fuckin’ Mayor.” He pointed out, her attempt at calming him seeming to have the opposite effect she’d intended. “You know goddamn well that law was put into place back when I was still a monster.” Was… _Maybe_. Truth be told he still felt himself a monster a lot of the time, but that didn’t mean the monster didn’t have feelings. “Things have changed, Snow. I’ve changed. They gotta make an exception considerin’..”

“No.” She cut him off, shaking her head. “I’m not asking him for anymore favors. Every time I do, I…” Snow bit her lip hard to keep from saying the words in her mind. The last time she’d asked Charming for something as huge as Bigby was suggesting, she’d ended up systematically murdering the seven dwarves, nearly causing a war with her actions. She’d been young, reckless and filled with an unquenchable thirst for vengeance. Yet, when she’d finished her task, she felt no better. She felt only worse. The worst she had ever felt in her very long life.

_Well, until now._

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, dropping her head to look away from him.

“Yeah, you’re sorry. I’m sorry, we’re all _sorry_ , but that doesn’t change the fact you’re a scared little girl, and I’m the bad guy ‘cause I’m the only one willing to take risk so our family can be happy.”

He regretted it the instant the words left his lips.

He regretted it more when she hauled off and punched him in the face a moment later.

_OK. He kind of deserved that. Didn’t make it any less true, though._

“Fuck!” Snow was pretty sure she’d broken her hand, or at least bruised the everliving shit out of it. “God damn fucking asshole.” She spat, shaking her hand out as tears started to fall down her cheeks. It was from the pain, not from something else. Or so she told herself.

“Feel better?” Bigby asked, scrunching his nose as he sniffed. Maybe now she’d settle down, listen to reason. Maybe.

“No! Fuck you.” Snow hissed, testing her hand by making loose fist. Nothing broken.

_At least nothing physical._

While she paced around, grumbling off-color words he’d honestly never heard a tavern-wench utter let alone a princess, Bigby’s eyes moved back to the van almost automatically. His kids….his cubs were in there. Not fifty yards away, so close he could smell them, feel them. Fly had done his job. They were well fed and sleeping peacefully again. Bigby was happy for that.

About the only thing he was happy about at the moment.

“You got a hell of a swing on you, Snow.” He sounded almost proud. _Almost_. An amused chuckle escaping him before he reached out, resting his hands on her shoulders to get her to stop pacing. “But pay attention, alright?”

She sniffled, the urge to try and pull away strong, but she knew better. Bigby was strong enough he could stop her from moving with one finger if he wanted to. She said nothing, finally looking up to meet his eyes again. Bigby took that as his cue to start talking. His last attempt, the final plea for her to listen to reason.

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.” He started, earning a distasteful scowl from Snow. “Quit making that face and listen to me. I don’t know how to be a father, my own was a piss poor example. About the only thing he taught me was what not to do.” Bigby’s tone grew tense as he thought of his father, but he pushed his ever present anger aside to continue. “What I do know is what a good mother is. Mine was the best, greatest mother a pup could hope for.” He smiled, just slightly, that little curve on his lips something Snow couldn’t deny she really enjoyed seeing. It was...cute. _Sexy_. Hell, she didn’t know.

It was his. His smile. His _real_ smile. One that probably didn’t happen enough. She liked that smile, as much as she tried to deny it.

“You’re that kinda mom.” He went on earnestly. “I knew that from the moment you told me we were going to… ya know.” Best not to bring that up. Was she still angry about that? He didn’t know. Bigby could sense a shift in her emotions. She smelled... _scared_. Not unhappy or angry but utterly terrified in a way he’d never gotten from her before. She pursed her lips tightly, unsure what to say to the words he was directing at her.

“I want to see it.” He said simply. “You and me, we made these cubs out of something that could have been awful. To me they’re a damn miracle, and I know you think that, too. You’re their mom, and I’ll respect that but you can’t...Snow, you can’t keep me out of their lives. I can make ‘em happy. I can make you happy. Don’t you want that?” He asked, sniffling again as his eyes started to…burn.

_Tears?_

_Shit. **Fuck**. That wasn’t supposed to happen._

“Last chance. I’m going north, I don’t know how far or for how long, but I’m going. Find myself a cabin in the woods and just disappear.” He let go of her shoulders. “How big’s that cabin gotta be?” He asked hopefully.

She opened her mouth to speak, but all that escaped was a choked sob. Snow took a moment to push aside the fear, the panic consuming her before she could speak. “I _can’t_.” She repeated what she’d said the day before, the words more of a gasping sob than actual language. “It’s not you, it’s...”

“No.” He cut her off, her answer clearly enough to push away all sensitivity he’d managed to muster. He spent months, years trying to find a way to make her see what she meant to him, and if offering her the closest thing he could to the entire fucking world didn’t convince her?

Nothing ever would.

She didn’t want him. She didn’t want them, and as much as it torn him to pieces to finally accept, he’d do it.

She was worth that much to him; he’d let her go, let his children go.

_Somehow._

He started walking backward, back to the cab he’d left waiting. Couldn’t drive still. This was one expensive, and pointless, cab ride. “Do me a favor and don’t tell ‘em too much bad shit about me.” Bigby shouted back at her before he ducked back into the cab, not looking back at her as it drove off.

She waited until the cab was out of sight before falling to her knees, overcome with so many emotions she couldn’t begin to place them. Anger, sadness, loneliness. _That was the worst._ The thick immeasurable empty feeling curling around her heart when Snow realized she’d finally done it.

_She’d finally pushed Bigby Wolf out of her life utterly and completely._

“Shit.” She whimpered as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Snow looked up, eyes red and swollen from crying. “Miss White? It’s getting dark and Miss Rose Red is expecting you and the babies soon. ” Flycatcher said cautiously, unsure what to say or do.

“Yeah. Sorry.” Snow got to her feet, glancing back at the van her children were sleeping in.

_...don’t tell ‘em too much bad shit about me…_

Bigby’s last words, perhaps the last words she’d hear from his lips ever again echoed in her mind. She glanced around, swallowing a moment before she looked at the land. The Farm. Her new home. Her new prison; her and the cubs.

“Do you know...are they using those caves in the Valley of the Sleeping Giants for anything now?” Snow asked, her question striking Fly as something very odd indeed. “I don’t think so. Since the revolution is all done and over, why would anyone need them?”

“We need to make a stop.” She said simply, walking back to the van quickly. Snow slid open the side door, looking over her sleeping babies. She let out a tense sigh, her heartbeat slamming in her chest. She may have succeeded in pushing these children’s father out of her and their lives completely. She may have thought she’d won, that this was exactly what she wanted and needed, and he may have been an idealistic stubborn asshole who had just torn her heart to pieces with his impossible requests.

But her children were never, _ever_ going to know that.

_Not if she had anything to say about it._

 

 


End file.
